Guest Blogger: Maggie French
How many times have you sat and listened to your client say, “I try . . .” How do you feel about what they are saying? It resonates with me as a dull thud, stopping them from action. I feel their energy blocked and the “try” keeping them from doing.
Early on in my coaching I found my client’s energy would shift when I asked them to reframe what they said without the word “try.” Still today, it does not cease to amaze me how much lighter and more energized they feel with this same reframe. Neurolinguistics is such a fascinating aspect of coaching; the use of words and their ability to motivate and unmotivate, “try” being the latter.
As a coach who endeavors to walk her talk, I challenged myself to remove the word “try” from my vocabulary. It was quite a challenge early on. When we “try” we are placating ourselves with a false sense that we are doing. I, too, could feel how I did the same myself. Today the word creeps into a sentence now and then. When it does I pause, smile, reframe and feel I am doing. As Yoda would say “Do or not do, there is no try.” Check out “The Coaching Circle” for another way to hone your coaching skills.
Maggie French, ACC
Living Whole Coaching
Maggie is a member of the ICF-NE Membership Committee